Step 9 AA: When to Make Amends and When Not to FHE Health

ACF acknowledges that there will be a cost to implement changes made by this rule as we anticipate that a majority of states and tribes would need to expand their efforts to recruit and identify providers and foster families that the state or tribe could identify as Designated Placements for LGBTQI+ children. This cost would vary depending on an agency’s available resources to implement the rule. Moreover, a commenter stated that placing the onus on states and tribes to confirm and affirm that a foster family home is safe and appropriate when there is already a shortage of foster homes will end up hurting the children that this regulation is purporting to protect. One commenter questioned the NPRM’s assertion that enough foster parents can be found to replace those that would be lost as a result of their religious beliefs.

Section 1355.22(f) Placement of Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming Children in Foster Care

• Intermittent stream means a well-defined channel that contains water for only part of the year, typically during winter and spring when the aquatic bed is below the perched or seasonal high water table; allows the flow of an intermittent stream to be supplemented by stormwater runoff.
• But, as difficult as it is, completing this step can provide an immense sense of relief and newfound hope for the future.
• They also argued that the NPRM’s provisions would disincentivize families from serving as foster parent providers and would “drive individuals and organizations of faith away.” They also expressed concerns that most congregate care providers are not currently equipped to meet the provisions around placing children according to their gender identity.
• It’s not one we use too frequently in our everyday language, but it still holds significant meaning.

Taking these actions helps us to separate ourselves from the disease of addiction. Steps 8 and 9 help us to move out of the shame we have lived in, shame that feeds the cycle of substance use and addiction. We strengthen and reinforce healthy recovery whenever we do our part to repair relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding. Step Nine states that we make amends “except when to do so would injure them or others.” We don’t want our actions to cause further damage, harm or stress.

When and Why Do People Make Living Amends?

Whether or not you’re intimately familiar with the Twelve Steps of AA, you’ve probably heard of Step Nine. Making Amends with Others has positioned itself in the public eye to a degree that many of the other eleven steps haven’t. That’s because it attempts to rectify the outward consequences of the disease.

Implementation Costs

You can gain clarity about what happened and what should have happened. Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say when preparing to make amends. There may be so many times we feel we let someone down that it can be hard to know where to begin.

Patient Care Network

When he runs out of clean clothes, I don’t lecture or offer solutions. I let him decide if he wants to do laundry at midnight or wear dirty clothes. I no longer interrogate him about his day at school, so I can give my wise advice on how to handle difficult peers. I’m not his teacher, and I’m sure she’s skilled at handling that type of problem. Talk with your sponsor or others in your recovery community about what has worked for them. If your actions match your intentions and you reach out in person, you are doing the next right thing to right past wrongs.

Apologizing is difficult for many people, and taking responsibility for your actions can be painful as it may remind you of the harm you have caused. However, this provides you with hope and inspiration to become and remain a better person in all living amends future endeavors. Guilt and shame anchor people to their past and trap them in old ways that prevent them from growing and moving on with their lives. By tackling step nine, recovering alcoholics can be freed from their past, including addiction.

Section 1355.22(m) No Effect on More Protective Laws or Policies

The other person may hear the same statement as exasperation with them or a minimizing of the ways you’ve hurt them. Instead, try to reference specific times when you hurt the other person and/or let them down. Being specific also makes the amends that you offer more achievable. You may not be able to rectify “everything” you’ve done to the other person, but you can repair specific wrongs. But, as difficult as it is, completing this step can provide an immense sense of relief and newfound hope for the future. At the heart of this step is the need for forgiveness and restoration—forgiving yourself, forgiving others, and making amends.